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6.26.15 |
Before I started this new blog, My older sister and I had a heartfelt conversation. Our talk were full of gossips, tips and tricks. Within the conversation, i opened up to her and told her that I still lack on my self conscience. Nothing to do with appearance what so ever, because unless i have 1 million dollars (insert Dr. Evil's trademark million dollar pose here) I cant do a damn thing about it but work on my makeup application techniques and eat well and exercise. I digress. I have no self confidence on the way I talk. With that, I am not giving myself enough credit on how smart I am. Because I have pretty good street smarts. BUT I have been in this country (U. S. of A) for little over 25 years and I still have problems communicating and letting my words flow out of my mouth well enough that I dont look like an idiot. Or at least feel like an idiot.
For example, I went to my grandparents 65th Anniversary last week. I don't mind seeing 100+ relatives and friends...but I was not looking forward to talking to a lot of people. Not because I have nothing to say, its because I struggle in having a conversation with someone and looking at them in the eyes. My self doubt to communicate is on full level in big gatherings...but I try to carry out my words effectively. I even tried to add
little big words I learned and remembered in my SAT studies 15 years ago. Not gonna lie, the words didn't freely flow out of my mouth as good as it sounded in my head.
My sister told me that Im unique. She also apologized to me. She said that she was talking a lot for me while we were first learning how to speak English at the age 6 and 8 years old. I was shy and she wasn't, when I was trying to communicate, she happily spoke for me to others. She was only trying to help me, but seems like she helped too much. We laughed at each other because we know that, that wasn't the case. It definitely not her fault. I was just wired differently. It worked out a lot differently for her, because she graduated college majoring in ENGLISH.
Anyway, She told me to Read more and maybe write more as well. I should Google sentences if I'm not too sure, look on my phone. Once she said that, I remembered how much I missed blogging. I remembered that reading other people's blog, made me look at the words and learned new content. And it was not boring to reading others views and reviews. So this is the jest of the reason why I'm back at it again.
I hope you guys have a wonderful weekend!